Caring for a loved one can be difficult at any time of year but it can be especially challenging during the holidays. That’s when you might be juggling your caregiving responsibilities along with the pressure of holiday plans, family gatherings and ensuring that festive traditions continue.
However, if you don’t take care of yourself, your caregiver stress could escalate. It’s important to know the warning signs of caregiver burnout and to take steps to limit it before you get overwhelmed.
“You may have heard that in order to effectively care for others, you must take care of yourself,” said Lori Nisson, a licensed clinical social worker and director with Banner Sun Health Research Institute and Banner Alzheimer's Institutes.
Signs of caregiver burnout during the holidays
“Caregiver stress can sneak up on even the most caring and patient people,” Nisson said. The constant effort of caregiving can lead to exhaustion, frustration and guilt. These feelings can be a signal that you might be dealing with caregiver burnout.
Burnout can creep up on you, especially during the holiday season when extra tasks and responsibilities can pile up. Watch for these symptoms:
- Feeling emotional or physical exhaustion
- Feeling overwhelmed because you’re managing the demands of the holidays on top of caregiving
- Feeling stressed, irritated or angry toward your loved one, rather than at the situation
- Mood changes such as sadness, anxiety, helplessness or hopelessness that result in negative thoughts
- Difficulty concentrating
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Physical symptoms like headaches, body aches or stomach aches
- Desire to isolate or not find joy in the holiday season
- Using unhealthy habits like eating, drinking or smoking too much
Why the holidays may increase stress for caregivers
Lots of people feel stressed or overwhelmed during the holiday season and this time of year can be even harder for caregivers. That’s because:
- Caregiving can leave you limited on time and yet you may need to squeeze in family gatherings, gift shopping and other holiday traditions.
- Balancing caregiving duties with your personal life and needs may make you feel guilty or frustrated.
- The holidays can be expensive and caregiving may already be putting strain on your finances.
- The holidays can increase feelings of sadness and loss.
Tips for managing caregiver burnout during the holidays
“As a caregiver, you likely put others’ needs ahead of your own,” Nisson said. But when life gets hectic, it’s critical to avoid self-neglect. Here are some steps you can take to help manage caregiver stress:
- Make a plan to keep yourself healthy: That can mean being mindful of food intake, fitting in rest and sleep and limiting alcohol, which may flow more freely over the holidays.
- Set realistic expectations: Try not to feel pressured to do everything. Focus on what matters most to you and scale back where you can.
- Delegate tasks: You probably spend more time with family and friends over the holidays. That can create a built-in opportunity to ask for help with holiday preparations or caregiving.
- Prioritize self-care: Rest, exercise and mental breaks are important. Make a list of quick, simple things that help you cope and bring you joy. That might be a 10-minute walk, a warm shower or a few minutes of time for deep breathing or soothing music each day.
- Create a caregiving schedule: It may help to organize your time to be sure you’re balancing caregiving with personal time, holiday activities and breaks.
- Be okay with saying no: If an invitation or task feels overwhelming, find the right words to set a limit. Do your best to avoid feeling guilty — it can be tough but your health should come first. Try using this mantra: “I am doing my best, I let go of the rest.”
Connecting with support during the holiday season
If you need help managing caregiving this time of year, Nisson recommends connecting with these resources:
- Support groups: Communicating with other caregivers can give you emotional support. You may be able to find in-person groups in your community or consider joining online support groups or communities to connect with caregiver support during the holidays.
- Respite care: Identify times when you can take a break and arrange for someone to take over your caregiving responsibilities for a while. Finding ways to implement respite breaks even a few hours a week can help. “Respite is required,” Nisson said.
- Mental health professionals: Especially if you are concerned your level of stress may be moving into anxiety or depression, speaking with a therapist or counselor can help you assess your symptoms and better manage the strain of caregiving.
Communicating with your family about burnout
The people closest to you may not realize how tough it can be to be a caregiver. “It can help to have open, honest conversations with your family members about your challenges,” Nisson said. Make your boundaries transparent so everyone knows what you can and cannot handle.
Be clear about how family members can help, whether that’s with caregiving or holiday preparations. Particularly during holiday gatherings, caregiving can be a shared responsibility. “Asking for help is a sign of strength,” Nisson said.
Finding joy and moments of calm in the holiday season
You may not feel as though you can find a minute to relax and enjoy this time of year when you have so many responsibilities to manage. It might be possible to:
- Focus on the activities that are meaningful to you and your loved ones. Skip the rest. “Try not to feel guilty that you aren’t doing everything,” Nisson said.
- Let go of the pressure to make everything perfect. You and your family can still enjoy a scaled-back holiday season.
- Adjust your expectations and choose simple holiday traditions that don’t add to your stress or workload.
The bottom line
While the holiday season has a reputation for peace and joy, it can be stressful and overwhelming for caregivers. Be on the lookout for signs of caregiver burnout, connect with support, ask for help and set boundaries.
When you prioritize your self-care, you’ll be healthier, better prepared to care for others and more likely to enjoy the holidays. If you need help navigating caregiving stress, reach out to an expert at Banner Health.
If you are caring for a loved one living with Alzheimer’s or related dementia, check out these additional caregiving resources.
